So as you should all eventually learn, I am the Queen. I'm also addicted to chapstick. This combination led to a lovely oneshot my lovely friend Alice (bibliophile_ali ) wrote for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anything that doesn't make sense is a reference to the strange power dynamic semi-existent in my group of friends and some amazing inside joke that's most likely unexplainable.


( She wrote it at 2 in the morning and it's still this awesome!! )

Alice I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I went to the half price bookstore today which was a BIG mistake but I was selling some of my old books I no longer need so it was well justified. Or so I keep telling myself. But, I found a gem so it was worth it.
There I was, perusing the games section to see if I wanted any of them for my collection (Taboo for 3 bucks) and found The Official Rock Paper Scissors Strategy Guide and HAD to buy it.
I have read the introduction and the section entitled 'History' and learned very little. Rock Paper Scissors was developed independently in both Japan and Eastern Europe and was called Paper Scissors Stone in London for quite a while but people turned the abbreviation (PSS) into PiSSers and they changed it to Rock Paper Scissors. They do actually refer to it as janken in the sections discussing Japanese versions of the game which pleases me. 
The authors are either entirely too serious and completely believe that there was a measurable need for this book and slaved away to provide the public with it or are bsing the entire thing marvelously. I rather think it's the first possibility but I have not yet read enough to cement that.

Anyways, sorry about the semi-spam, it just made me HAPPY.

Another thing that makes me happy: Only 1 1/2 weeks left until I return to school and escape my family, especially my mother.
AND I'm going to the zoo Saturday!! I love the zoo.

I fail at communication of all kinds this summer. Well, just on the off chance that anyone would be looking for me this coming week, I thought I'd let the world know I'm going to be in Ole Mississippi without a computer. I'm going to sweat myself into oblivion but otherwise it'll be o.k.

I'm just wondering, if there was a bathroom in your house that you never used and no guests ever saw, would you be upset if there were things like bottles of contact solution, mouthwash, lotion, stuff like that sitting out on a little table intended for things to be set on?

I was just treated to a 5 minute rant from my mother because the bathroom my siblings and I share (but she NEVER uses) had 5-6 bottles of stuff sitting out on a little table between the sink and the toilet and she wanted it to be put away in the bathroom cabinet. And then she put it away. It's all stuff we use every day and now I'm going to get shit from my sibs about it because they're going to think I put it all away in all the wrong places.
Seriously, WHY DOES IT BOTHER YOU MK?

So, I prolly shouldn't have written that oneshot last night because I now want to write. This is bad. I feel like writing and am fairly good at it but I am good at writing scenes. Entire stories? With plots? Not so much.

I've been working on my own version of Beauty and the Beast because I grew up on that story. I've read about 20 different versions, some of them multiple times, and seen every movie/play of it I've had to opportunity to see. It provided a base for a lot of my opinions/feelings about stuff like love, home, family, the big stuff. I started with the intention of 'fixing' the story. Every version always has a little something that doesn't quite fit, or is just blatantly wrong and I was going to write it without all that stuff. It's very slow going because I'm lazy chose to write it in a style that doesn't agree with me. I have decided to change to style to a more conducive one for me and maybe I'll get a little farther.

Anyway. Here's the prologue type thingy cause I'm kinda short on time at the moment but I've been bit by the writing bug and HAD to do something.

I feel like I've been gone for a month but it was only 10 days. Anyhow, I'm back! I went to visit my sister at her in-law's cabin on Lake of the Woods in Canada. It was REALLY pretty but really basic. No running water, electricity (so no charging of the ipod ! ), etc. which made it not so fun for me. Besides all that, my crazy insane mother who goes beyond description came so we were all stuck on an island in the middle of this HUGE lake with Mother and nothing to do. We all survived. No one pushed anyone off the boat. (We went fishing and I caught 6!!) The wolves did not attack us. It all worked out but I never want to do it again.
Now, I'm ready to return to the world I'm more familiar with, and my kitty.

I've been home alone all week and found myself gradually running out of activities so I turned to the old standby T.V. And during the day it's slim pickings, especially after the cartoons are over so I've been watching What Not to Wear on TLC a lot. I don't really know why because I'm not terribly interested in fashion but whatever. I noticed during the show that I've seen some clothes similar to the ones trashed by the hosts on members of Arashi through the years, especially Jun and had an idea. Arashi's what NOT to wear special!! Anyone have any priceless pictures to contribute? Bad hair is also a viable topic. If the clothes aren't that bad but the hair is, share.

I forgotted!! Downloads here: 3, 4, and 5, all provided by the wonderful taijiproject .

Ok so my main goal with this project was to contribute something, no matter how meaningless or little used it actually turns out to be. My other goal was to teach myself to actually do something other than eat and go to class on a regular basis. I'm quite scatterbrained so things others do regularly, like check their email, water their houseplants, upload pictures and clear out the memory card, POST, etc. don't happen on a regular basis when I have to do them. So, I apologize in advance to anyone who might end up actually using this for my unreliableness.

Here we go!!

D の嵐　Episode 3
Ohno Goes Caving
This episode is pretty simple and the summary is a little dull but Ohno's reactions make it priceless. Ohno is sent to see a lake underground that has blue water and Jun finishes up his epitese/prosthetic piece.
As soon as Ohno hears the topic, he's raring to go see. it's cute. He's really excited about this one. I believe one of the captions is 'high-tension Ohno'. He hikes through lots of dense foliage for an hour or so and finally reaches the cave. Then there's lots of fitting through small spaces and disbelief from Ohno, some rerouting difficulties, and a waterfall climb they finally reach the lake.
Jun then shows up with a quick 5 minute wrap up of the previous topic, a prosthetic finger attachment / making. The family, especially the daughter, is happy and the finger looks pretty real and Jun was touched by the report so all is good.
Then we have a teaser for the next report and some shameless advertising and a cute Ohno moment right at the end.

D の嵐　Episode 4
Did she REALLY just have plastic surgery?
I do NOT like this episode. It makes me squeamish and I don't think it was worth it partly because I don't see much change. Nino goes to report on the moment a patient's bandages are removed after plastic surgery. When he arrives,  she hasn't had the surgery yet and they chat about what she's having changed (eyes, nose and removing lines in her cheeks) and why (she wants to be more noticeable). She's only 21 years old too, and it sounds like she's mainly doing it for her guy but she did talk about wanting to do it since high school so i guess she thought it through.  So enough of my dislike of plastic surgery! (Sorry) They do the surgery and Nino is present it seems and then there's a lit of chatting with her while she's staying in her recovery room, bored out of her mind with bandages all over her head. Finally, the reveal!! She''s really nervous, but in the end, happy with the result.
AND, the BEST part of the episode: Tの嵐(tentative)!!!!!!!!!! The 'T' stands for toukou which means submission as in it's based on the what the viewers submit. It's  Sho's very own corner where he shows the boys pictures of things he and others find amusing, usually signs or odd station names, and they are rather un-enthused about it. Yay!! Poor Sho *gives hugs galore*. The inaugural show features odd bus stop names.
To wrap it up we have the teaser for the next show, more shameless advertising and a verrry short clip of a bus stop that wasn't shown.

D の嵐　Episode 5
Meguro-san Arrives
I gotta say, Jun is quite cute in this episode. He goes to meet the 'self-proclaimed largest man in Japan': Meguro Hiroshi san, 31 years old. So, basically, Jun follows this guy around for the day. They tour his house, jun lies in his bed and tries on his clothes, and asks only one really awkward question. Then they go sightseeing around Meguro-san's hometown. On the way, they marvel at how he has bent his seat in his car and Jun tries on his watch. First stop: a viewing platform. Unfortunately Meguro-san is unable to make the climb to the top so Jun goes on his own. Next stop; the arcade where Meguro-san goes regularly to exercise. Third stop: a ramen restaurant where the man orders an incredible quantity of food that kinda makes me hungry because the food looks sooo good but he orders enough for like 10-15 people! And then he can't finish it all. In the end he eats 2 bowls of ramen and 2 plates of gyoza. 20 minutes later, they go get ice cream. Final Stop: Karaoke! They then return to his home and Jun watches as he bathes to see if it follows the normal process. Jun spends the night and the next day they go to a cattle farm to see how much Japan's largest man actually weighs - 260 kg which is about 573 lbs for non-metric peoples like me.
To end it all, they give us the teaser for the next episode and more shameless advertising.

That's all folks.

D の嵐　Episode 2

This week MatsuJun handles a fairly delicate report about the attachment of a cosmetic prosthetic  and Aiba is sent on a search for the growing place of hijiki.

Jun meets a man who lost his index finger years ago who wants the prosthetic (epitese) partly because of his daughter. They go to get it fitted/made together and Jun marvels at all the wondrous things they've made - eyes, ears, fingers, noses,  breasts, penises, etc. This episode provides us with the awkward clip of Jun watching a woman getting her breast epitese re-colored and fitted. They take molds of the man's hand and match the color of his skin and have to sit and wait while the prosthetic is made.

While they're waiting, we go visit Aiba wandering around trying to find out where hijiki grows, He figures out it grown in the ocean and heads there to find some. They put the poor boy in a wetsuit and send him to dive for this mysterious seaweed even though it's out of season and high tide when he shows. It's long and looks kinda like hair and grows on rocks and has little bud like flowers. Hours later after several failed tries he finds hijiki and eats some of it raw to find that it doesn't taste like what he's used to.

After some promotion for the next episode starring Ohno and some selling for their new at the time release of How's it Going we learn that the actual epitese attachment and reveal isn't going to happen this episode and we have to be good little viewers and wait. And we learn that Nino doesn't like hijiki.

Download links here thanks to taijiproject .

It seems as if the transition from C to D wasn't a big deal (they don't even get a new sign :( ) but we have moved on to another Arashi hosted late night show. The D stands for document. The premise for this show which is loosely retained throughout it's entire run time involves sending Arashi members to witness or discover various things that interest the viewers.

D の 嵐 Episode 1
Ohno Gets 'Lost' in the Forest and Sho Plays with Money
Today as you can probably tell from the title, both Ohno and Sho are sent on location. Ohno is sent to the forests surrounding Mt. Fuji to determine how far in someone can go and still have a signal on their cell phone. Sho accompanies a lotto winner when he goes to pick up his winnings.

Ohno goes to the huge forest surrounding Mt. Fuji to discover the range of his cell phone. The voice over talks about deaths and suicides frequently occurring in the area so Ohno is understandably disconcerted and refuses to go in alone as originally planned. As he continues into the forest he finds flowers someone left as a memorial, abandoned clothes / squatting sites, empty pill packages, a knife, etc. and he spends most of his time at least a little freaked. Once, to check his signal, Ohno calls Sho while he is filming his portion and cutely complains about how scared he is. Finally, 2 km in, he thinks to call the phone company and learns that he should have service throughout the whole area because there's a cell tower right at the entrance to the forest so they go home.

Sho's report interrupts Ohno's right before he calls the telephone company to show us the moment when a lotto winner receives their prize money. The process takes 2 weeks but Sho's only concerned with the actual collection. He and the mysterious A-san head to a credit union to pick up the cash, 11 118 704 yen ($US 114 578.25). They're taken into a private waiting room because of the amount and receive the money after a tense wait. Then they slap each other with wads of cash and head out. On A-san's way home, the kind, compassionate staff have arranged for him to run into an intimidating character and make him worry about his new winnings. This whole time he has been wearing a sash Sho gave him that reads "I am the lucky boy who won 10 million yen". After the scary man has gone on his way and Sho has apologized, they go to A-san's house and they play with the cash.

That's all. Download here provided by taijiproject .

Here's the reviews for the only 2 episodes of C no Arashi I have been able to find. As you all probably know, C stands for claim and for this show the members are sent to handle the business claims/lawsuits of various people and come to a solution. Stressful!!

C　の　嵐 Episode 34
This episode differs from the norm. Ohno and Aiba go to investigate claims on the set of Yoiko no Mikata, a drama that Sho was filming at the time in which he plays a kindergarten teacher. They ask everyone from the children to the director for things they feel Sho shouldn't do or problems they have with him. We learn that Sho shaves a lot on set, the kids think he's too full of himself, and he doesn't really talk that much with his costars and his face gets puffy when he sleeps.
Also during this episode, Jun and Ohno test with the help of a room full of high school girls the merits of a device designed to make sexual predators back off. This provides us with the interesting scene of Jun and Ohno acting out a molestation scene between themselves on the train.
There's not much to write about during this episode because the actual occurrences are normal ish but it's worth the watch.

C　の　嵐 Episode 35
So this episode is back to normal. MatsuJun is sent to handle the claim of a group of tobacco shop owners who claim that the recent law set in their province that prohibits smoking because the smokers have no respect and litter all over causing problems is interfering with their business and the Mayor should do something about it. Jun originally expected to deal with one angry shop owner but is kind of forced to attend a meeting with all the owners in the area. He has a bit of trouble getting them to understand him and has understanding problems because he doesn't smoke but eventually they come to an understanding.
The other segment of this show films Sho and Ohno walking around the same area where smoking is prohibited finding people smoking and telling them about the recent ban meaning they cannot smoke there. It seems a little pointless to me but it has entertainment value.

So those are the only episodes of C I have. If anyone knows where I can find more of them, that would be appreciated. These were provided by the wonderful taijiproject . Thanks again.

So, I've been thinking a lot about what I can contribute / write about/ whatever that would be actually helpful to people. I've been hesitant about keeping an actual journal diary type thing here because my daily life is really rather boring, even to me. So, I've come up with my first project!!! Yay!
I've been watching a lot of the variety type tv shows that Arashi hosts and ran into the problem of not having enough space on my computer to keep all my favorites. I also had trouble finding specific episodes because I knew what happened during the show but not the episode number. Here's my grand yet simple solution. I'm going to (probably slowly) come up with an extensive episode summary for all the Arashi shows I have access to. I'm not really sure how to explain this so here's an example.
D　の　嵐 Episode 64 summary (I should probably put *contains spoilers* here just in case.)
Ruins Tour
This episode, the lovely staff of D loads the boys onto a tour bus and sends them off to a unique theme park for a day of relaxation after their busy summer. They will be treated to lunch and dinner and will spend the night in comfort, or so they think.
They are sent on a 37 year old bus to an Alice in Wonderland theme park, "Alice's Forest" that has been out of business for 11 years. For lunch they are offered sashimi but it has no condiments so they are sent to the kitchen of the deserted restaurant to find some. In this section they have some quite entertaining reactions to things that have been left to rot for 11 years and smell quite bad. In their search they find tabasco sauce, worcester sauce, powdered coffee, canned walnuts, soy sauce, (unopened) cola, and (unopened) canned green tea. Fearless Leader unbelievably drinks both the beverages and reacts more to the glass being unwashed for 11 years than the beverage being that old. After lunch they head to the park's main attraction, a man made cave that's of course full of bugs and bats and this causes some funny behavior. They take a souvenir photo so they can remember all the insane stuff they had to do for ratings.
Next, they head to a  hospital that was abandoned 12 years ago under mysterious circumstances. It's a little too real for me; there are things like pictures, medical charts, syringes, x-rays, some clothes, and medical equipment just lying tossed around. It looks like something seriously bad happened there and it was left in a hurry. They visit the cafeteria and find some miso but no one eats anything this time. They don't stay because it's just too creepy.
Back in the studio, we meet again with Meguro-san but this time he's 100 kg lighter!!  He heads back to the amusement park with Jun and Aiba to try out some of the rides he wasn't able to fit on the first time. And in the studio, Nino is given free reign in Ni no Arashi spurting air jets unexpectedly. And that's all for episode 64.

They probably won't all be this detailed but this episode had a lot packed into it. I chose it as the example cause I just watched it. You can find a wonderfully translated download of it here thanks to taijiproject . Just so you all know, it's a locked entry.

Please let me know what you think and if this would be useful to you all. If it's not going to be used, I don't want to take the time to do it.